Life

Yesterday I threw a fit, like a 5 year-old meltdown. None of my jeans were clean except two pairs. One has a broken zipper, which I was having an extremely hard time getting to work, plus they were tight. The other were my old fat jeans from my heaviest time. I have no idea why I still have them. I had made plans to go bowling with my grandma though, so I had to put on the old fat jeans. That was one of the worst feelings of my life. It was as if all my work was gone to waste and just crushed what little self confidence I had. Luckily my dad came to the rescue with the fake dry clean/steam wash feature on our dryer to at least freshen a pair of my regular jeans.

Over the past couple days, Mike bought a car. He's really excited, which makes me happy. It's a nice car. He hasn't perfected how to drive it yet though, because it's a manual.

I went shopping today with my mom. It was really nice. Although I got very frustrated when I could not find any heals that fit my needs, she remained helpful. I think she could tell that I haven't been myself lately. I got one new pair of heals and a new shirt/dress. They are really cute. I'm excited to wear them for rush, which is next week already. I hope I make it into Steph's sorority. I think it would be a great bonding thing for us, considering that soon we will actually be family.

I have mixed emotions about going back to school. My roommate is moving out, so I'm excited at the thought of a new roommate. Maybe one that talks a little more and that I get along with better. I'm also nervous and anxious about recruitment/rush. I hope it is as fun as everyone as told me. I'm really ready to make some more friends. School wouldn't be so bad if I had more friends. On the other hand, I like home. I like its security, its consistency, and living around others. I want to stay so badly, yet I know I need to go. I just have to keep reminding myself that being away from home is good for me and will help me mature (I hope). I think I am going to feel better once I'm back though. Getting back into a sleeping, exercising, eating, and schooling routine will be good. I enjoy feeling productive, one thing I don't feel when I home for a while. I'm crossing my fingers that I will lose weight when I go back and start going to the gym more. Losing weight always makes me feel better.

Even though I was out for much of today, I feel lethargic. Slow, and tired, and unmotivated to do anything. I think I'm getting sick. Mike had something similar a few days ago. His only lasted a day or two so I'm hoping I'll be better by the time I go back to school.

I also think I'm going to look up some cars for me. My grandma gives me some fun money each month and it would be really nice to put that towards a new car. I love my grandma; she's hilarious, but sweet and generous.

I have to be up somewhat early tomorrow. I'm getting my teeth cleaned. So that means off to bed for me. Night Night imaginary readers.


Love